isza's Blog

ayun naman.. hihi.. wala na ankong magawa.. wala n aqong work.. :)) at eto.. mejo enjoy naman sa bkasayon.. panu naman after 2weeks ng baksayon nun sembreak nagkaroon n aq kagad ng work.. pero di rin naman aq nagtagal dun kase paguran din naman.. kaya eto pahinga na muna nga aq.. hmm.. iniisip q kung pupuntahan ko ba yun interview ko bukas.. meron nga rin aq intreview ngaun pero hindi ko naman pinuntahan,, parang gusto ko na rin muna yun malapit lang,.. nun nasa makati pa rin kase aq nagwwork dati.. nahirapan din aq sa byahe.. hmm.. sana magkawork n aq na gusto ko talga..

matagal tagal na rin kami hindi nagkikita nila haket at ryan.. kagabe ka-chat q pa c ryan.. :) namimiss ko na rin sila.. pero ayoko din naman magpakita pa sa kanila.. ewan ko kung baket.. basta ayoko muna.. hahahahhaha

hmm.. nakakatuwa din naman,, parang every week.. nagkikita kami nila ryan, haket.. at nun iba pa.. akala q kase yun tipong once a month lang kami magkikita.. o baka hindi pa.. pero ayun nga.. mejo madalas kami nagkikita,. kahit ojt na aq at nagwowork na sila.. pero recently./. parang ayoko rin munang magpakita sa kanila... siguro para makapagisip aq para sa future ko at simple para masanay na rin na hindi na talga kami magkkasama,. at syempre pa.. yun walang hanggang panghihinayang q dahil hindi na aq arki katulad nilang 2.. pero ayos lang.. kung anu man ang plano ni God.. sa ngaun/.. may mga iniisip na aqong gawin yun ay kung kalooban ni God..

(Aug 06, 2011)
manonood sana ng "ang babae sa septik tank" pero nauwi sa panlilibre nila haket, rayan at james sa yellow cab kasama ang batch 15..

bukas.. mamaya na pla.. manonood na kmi sa sm molino ng ang babae sa septik tank.. :)

hmm.. election nmin kanina sa vpapu.. umm.. kahit n pinag-pray q kay God khapon at sa mga nakaraang araw n xa na ang bahala kung mananalo man aq o magkakaroon man aq ng position sa evp ayos lang kako.. hindi ako masasaktan o magdaramdam.. kaya lang napaisip aq.. na-elect nga aq.. pero wala akong naipanalo.. o hindi aq nanalo kahit n may mga bumoto sakin.. naisip ko lang.. kung dahil ba yon sa hindi ako gusto ng members para sa mga posisyon na yon o meron na tlga silang napiling iboboto gusto man nila aq o hnidi.. o yun na yung napagusapan nila by batch?.. hindi naman big deal na hindi aq nagkaroon ng position pero naisip ko lang na kung wala ba silang tiwala sakin kaya hindi nila aq binoto o una palang may mga napili na talga sila sa utak nila kung sino yung iboboto nila..

pero sabe ko nga.. sa prayers ko.. kung ano man yung mangyari.. yon yung plano ni God.. at sigarado.. may mas magandang plano si God para sa akin.. ang sabe ko kase dati.. (parang sign na rin).. na kung di man aq mananalo o kung wala man aq s posisyon yun ay dahil.. baka nga wala na talaga aq sa vpao next sem dahil s thesis2 at ojt at sa oct. eh wla na talga aq.. hehehh.. 

ok lang po Lord.. gusto ko lang din po'ng magsulat.. gusto ko lang po maisulat dito yun naramdaman ko.. hindi naman po masama ang loob q dahil sa nangyari.. napaisip lang po aq kung ayaw ba tlga sakin ng members.. hehheh.. kung magiging invisible nga aq next sem.. kini-claim ko na po yon.. kahit pa may mga kumokontra.. :)

thank you Lord.. alam ko po.. maraming maraming magagandang bagay ang mangyayari sakin.. :) at hindi ang mapabilang sa set ng eb for 2011-2012.. :)

just wake up in a bad dreams.. but thats ok.. maybe its just part of our every day life.. once in a while were connected in some sort of things.. :) but thanks God im awake.. :) maybe.. its also God's way of calling.. i've never been attending a mass for a couple of weeks.. maybe its a reminder that even i pray.. it doesnt mean i wont go to church anymore.. oh my God.. im really sorry.. :)

hayss.. i cant sleep.. one more sem.. my classmates in architecture would go to stage... and i will be left.. and wait for 2 sems before i would be graduate.. im too scared to left alone.. especially they were really close to me..i always wish i could turn back the time.. but ofcourse it would never happened.. if i had a power time would be mine.. hahaha.. hayss.. im too selfish.. i know.. :(

everything suddenly change.. yeah.. i wanted everything to change.. from the moment i stop being a jolly person.. why do problems come along.. sometimes i wanted to give up.. just for one seconds.. i almost accepted everything that happened to.. to my biggest regrets to smallest.. but sometimes they appeared,,

It’s almost in the middle of the month of June... One more day to go and my BIRTHDAY is coming... Would anyone remember that’s it’s my very special day or no one would remember??? maybe I am expecting too much that everyone would greet me, even in my facebook account, text me or even call me just to tell me “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARISSA/ ISZA”… do I expect too much that those persons who are very close to my heart would greet me and maybe give me a little present… well that’s too much to ask for… Birthday greetings would do… beside from that... do my mother would remember that my birthday is coming… recently I never heard her mentioning about it… and the last time she doesn’t even remember that it was my day… and I am being very paranoid because the fact that I doesn’t have a lot of really close friends… what I mean is a numbers of friends who really cares for me… and I don’t know if somehow, someone would care for me and appreciate me… maybe I have,.. But those who believes in my capabilities.. I really don’t know… even my own mother doesn’t believe in my academic performance.. maybe I am really boring creature who born in this so-called planet earth.. 

this really amazing.. i got someone to talk to..amm..  kinda funny, and has a sense of humor.. who seems to be looking some fun and maybe also looking for a new friend or ka-tropa.. he's name is rap.. actually i think i had a crush on him,.. hahahahahahahhaha... he's always making fun with me.. teasing me and everything.. although we only met last friday because we had the same group who happened to perform tomorrow for our subject in retorika..i had an aese feeling with him that were going to click and would be started as good friends.. wow.. im going to enjoy this summer class because i found a new treasure in a box...  hahhhahahahahha.. :)

..im not feeling well today.. i just felt; i really wanted to be love and give love the best way i can give,, but there's no one to fall for.. i wanted to feel that i belong to someone.. that someone really miss me, txt me, worry with me all the time, ask me if im okay, give me company, hug me when im not okay, comfort me .. that when i wake up every morning someone would call me on the phone,.. his message would be the first thing i could read in the morning, that i would feel ok when he's just around.. i really wanted to be loved.. that someone would care for me.. when would be the right time that God would send me the right guy for me.. why i couldn't find him... why he didn't come to me and ask me if i can love him.. or maybe.. the guy who ask me was the the last one that i didn''t accept because im too afraid to get hurt... i wish.. someone, somehow.. he would come to me and tell me how much he wanted and love me.. that he would assure me that he would not hurt me.. thats the only thing i really wanted to hear from someone.. assurance was the only thing i really wanted to hear and feel.. so i dont need to feel upset and to assume..

miss you..so much.. :0

.. haisss *sight*.. i don't know what to say.. hahaha.. i lose my cell phone.. the only way i can communicate with others.. i still don't know when I'm going to buy a new phone.,. anyway.. HAPPY HEARTS DAY to everyone.. especially with those who had a date and going to spend their evening night with their special someone.. hmm and to those people who doesn't have a relationship same as me.. well lets stay home and watch a sad movie.. hahahhaha.. hayss.. i wish i had someone to spend with on valentines day..

im having a hard time about this case study were up to.. and exam week is already here.. actually i really missed someone who doesn't even care at all.. or maybe he doesn't really know at all.. same thing that he doesn't care that im exist.. the first month of this year is actually a great month for me.. thought were gonna have some funny romantic feelings, but that doesnt happened at all.. i admit that i really like this guy, who took his responsibility by doing his job.. i admired him from beeing workaholic, same thing that i like him because he graduated college and earn a degree of computer engineer if im not mistaken.. he used to be the right guy for me.. we had a communication over the phone by then.. but when the month of february entered, he doesn't texted me at all.. maybe he doesn't really interested to meet me.. i was assuming that maybe some other time; we could meet in a coffee shop and have a small talk and to get to know each other as well as i really wanted to know him more.. he was a brother of a friend of mine.. who doesn't know that i had a crush on her brother (maybe i was afraid that the friendship would turn awkward when she would find out that i obviuosly liked her brother).. (*sight) i wish i had someone who i could share my emotion, someone who would care enough for me and would love me the way i really wanted to be love.. thats really awful thought of mine.. when would i find my mr. right? how long i would wait for him? i wish i could meet cupid and ask him to give me the right person i wanted for all of my life.. (really sounds song lyrics.. hahahah).. funny.. i used  to be like this when my friends was away.. and alone in this room..